My body.

Being a mother has been difficult. One of the biggest challenges is my ever changing body. After two children and a bad diet, I’ll be the first to admit I eat like crap, I don’t feel good about myself. I love my body and what it has done with two children. I’ve been breastfeeding for almost a full 4 years including a year of tandem, but it’s not where I would like it to be.

Thing I am going to tackle, is being open and honest with myself. I think body positivity is the key. That even when you are making changes to make a body that you like, you should still love and appreciate what you have. It’s what you’re in for the rest of your life regardless of how you change it. It is still your body! I’ve been trying to say affirmations instead of negative things every time I look in the mirror. I am trying to wear clothes that make me feel good, instead of make me feel bad. I quit saving clothes from before, because regardless of where I end up, those close will hold something over my head, that no one needs. Especially because my hips are wider!

The next step for me is going to be working out. My best friend Melinda whose like the wife I always wanted and needed, is going to motivate me and keep me on track! 🙂 Well, we’re going to attempt to that for each other. I am so excited to share this journey with her as I am a mother of 2, and she is a mother of 5! We’re both at different points in our motherhood journey, but definitely going through a lot of the same feelings.

I am excited to write about this and use this as an accountability tool and hopefully a motivational tool for any other parent’s out there struggling with self love, body issues, and post partum! You’re all beautiful, we just need to be positive and stay healthy!

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Sleep.

When I was pregnant, I read a lot of articles. I was obsessed with pregnancy, children, car seat safety, etc. After all my reading, I decided attachment parenting was just going to end up my style. Luckily for me, my daughter always wanted to be held, she always wanted to be touching someone, and loved the carrier. The carrier, we used an ergo, was a life saver for months. So we co-slept. Naps and night time.

Fast forward, to two kids and I now, or then, I just wasnt sure it was the right move. I started reading a lot and finding more of where I now, felt/feel my parenting landed with. I learned about Janet Lansbury and Magda Geber, and the idea that children are whole people from birth.

We are currently trying to break the co-sleeping slowly. I do know my children and as a personal thing, I chose to not rip the bandaid off on this one. But it is working. As I have begun to completely empower my children by letting them go at their own pace, listening to them, and attempting to listen to my children’s temper tantrums instead of reacting, it does seem to work.

Recently my daughter has started to hangout upstairs by herself. She will also stay on the couch after falling asleep, even if I get up and use the restroom or switch rooms. My son, is now okay going to sleep without me and will stay with his father instead of running away.

While our arrangements seem very disconnected, they are what is currently working for our family. It is a slow process especially when it’s very easy to forget and react instead of accepting. But I am more at peace with my parenting than I ever have been before.

“When you hold an infant, hold him not just with your body, but with your mind and heart.” Magda Gerber